The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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