We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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