Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
