Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
