I am puke
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
