Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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