You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
