I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize