Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
