You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
