Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
