im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
