he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
