oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
A+ Viking dick
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
