i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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