You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
