You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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