i just wanna soil my oats bro
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
