Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
