i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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