WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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