Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My feet surprised me
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
