dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
