he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Dear god my vagina.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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