I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
