I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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