My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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