Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
