No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
