Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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