I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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