that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
