New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
