im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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