I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
