Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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