Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
