I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
