you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize