I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
