what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
