How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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