"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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