I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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