Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
