Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
