some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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