He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I take back everything I said about communal showers
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Blood and glitter go together right?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
