But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
