White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
