He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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