If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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