Welp...herpes.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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