They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
look no pants
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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