I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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